number 5 wooo!!!

i did one of the bravest things ever i dated my best freind like bff...we was like sisters until she revealed her "love" for me.thats not how it startded though lol.At first we were just like the best of freinds...then one day (remember shes supossed to be the straight one)i was at her house and we were just hanging out nbd i mean it started as nbd.well i really wanted ice cream but she was like no!i was like plz then i got another no!so i started my puppy dog face and was all begging...it didnt work.so i pulled her real close and was like please!!!she was like i thought you were gonna kiss me...lightbulb went on in my mind!!...so i asked her again she smiled and said no then i pulled her in and kissed her and was like how bout now..she smiled and said ok...then um it kinda went from there i figured we both enjoyed eachother so whats the harm?haha i was so wrong.i measn we really loved one another when we were alone together but at school and around her ex thigs got fucked up.he was clingy with her and pushed me away so i got all sad.I AM A CHEATER!i kissed someone else while dating her wich gave her the perfect excuse to dump me...i had it coming.so yeah that relationshit sucked mucho and im still healing from all the drama.Because,now me and my bff are not nearly as close as we used to be..its sad like really really sad.idk when things will be the way they were and idk if i should try and fix it or back off idk what to do anymore...i keep screwing up